Options

There are always options in life. I'm not very pleased with the ones set before me at the moment regarding The Child. But I am leaning toward pondering the notion of Homeschooling him. The poor kid is going through so much and the Oshkosh School system is less than charitable with their sympathy and understanding.

Once again, they want to slam - dunk him into an ED program. It is either that, or I remove him from their system and do it myself. They have me up against a wall. And in the words of Patrick Swayze, Nobody puts Baby into a Corner.

It might be possible for me to keep my foot in the door of my current work place and still do this. I've much pondering to consider yet.

No decisions will be made until after the Holiday Season.

Here we go.....

Today marks the anniversary of the day I lost a very good friend. Seven years ago, my dear friend Kathy suffered a major heart attack and passed away. Awful news to receive on my 40th birthday. And she wasn't much older than I am now.

And now, today, one of my favorite patients called to tell me that she has a form of cancer. It breaks my heart! I don't just help my patients, I LOVE my patients. They know that I walk that road beside them, sending hope and love along. This dear lady needs to fight like she has never fought before. For those of you who read my blog, please say a prayer for my dear friend and her family.

While Jim was walking his journey, this dear patient would stop by weekly to remind me that she was praying daily for him and my entire family. Her husband even joined us on the Aurora 5K Walk this past year in Team Brooks/Kuhr. And now.... let's just hope they caught it in time. I haven't read up much on the kind that she has. I sure do hope her odds are better than they had been to my family.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I never do well with Birthdays. You'd think I would be used to it by now. To me, they're all like mortality slapping me in the face, and THIS birthday is The Scary Birthday. The one each of my siblings have tip-toed through before me. This is the age that my mother passed away in. It scares the hell out of me.

On a positive note, I had three bananas that The Child failed to eat. As we speak, they are in the oven turning into yummy banana bread to be shared with my wonderful co-workers. I really do work with the best bunch of people. They are SO beautiful!!!

Tomorrow is also Donny Osmond's Birthday! Happy Birthday, You Hot Old Man!!! Many more to both of us, eh?

Ah, That Holiday Crush

They call it "The Crush" because one finds themselves over-stressed with engagements, gift buying, family, deadlines, work, household, bills.....

I am to the point where all I want to do this year is stay home and make some mulled wine and get completely shit-faced and forget this holiday ever came to be.

My oldest son has me absolutely beside myself with anger. He refuses to move forward or open his eyes and see things the way the rest of us see them. So I guess I won't be seeing my grandson on his First Christmas. And at this point, I'm so angry, I don't even give a damn any more. I'm returning all the gifts I have purchased, and I'm turning off my phone and any social media whenever the mention of Christmas pops up.

I don't need this shit. This is my first Christmas without my husband. We spent 20 Christmases together. We had some beautiful traditions, and we muddled through the stress and bullshit together. And this year, it's ALL bullshit. And I don't need that in my life.

I have tried so hard to be supportive of my son in all that he is going through right now. Tried to offer a different point of view, given him a place to land while he gets his bearings, lent him money when it hit the fan, and loved him even when I felt his head was firmly implanted up his ass. And what do I get for all of this? A big fucking pile of negativity.

So Christmas is canceled in my book. No Kuhr Christmas. No Brooks Christmas. I'm through. Leave me the hell alone. I'm trying to get through this month in a positive manner and it's only slapping me in the face. I quit.

Pictures or GTFO

I have neglected to post the "After" pictures here on my Blog of my Kitchen!
The counter used to have wire shelving on it to contain all of the crazy stuff that ends up in out in the kitchen. I decided that it is time for a more clean, down-scaled look to my counters.



This picture really shows how the ceiling color seemed to dictate what color the woodwork would be. It looks so clean and sunny! I love it!

I was going to bring that desk down to the basement, until I realized that after refinishing it a few summers ago, it is in much better shape than Grandma Ellie's Microwave Stand that had been in my kitchen for ages. So Grandma Ellie's Microwave Stand is now in the basement, and the desk is in the kitchen, which I think is a good thing. I still have easy access to my pen drawer without having to rearrange the entire world.



Yes, the Metal Island is back in the center of the kitchen. I'm not entirely happy about that, but it looked silly anywhere else I put it. And it is a wonderful surface for preparing meals or rolling out Christmas Cookies!

The Cabinet in the corner was originally in the Living Room. I need to make room for the Christmas Tree anyway, so I thought I may as well see how it looks in my kitchen for a while. I like that I put the Microwave on top of it. I feel I have easier access to the microwave with it more at eye level. And Jerry really likes having the Soda Fridge at his eye level.

I still haven't quite decided what to do with the Stove / Refrigerator wall and the Sink area. They still don't look all that great because I just haven't given them enough thought yet. But I will. And when I take action, I will post more pictures.

One thing that does make me happy is that I have removed the cabinet that sat between the stove and fridge. It's a nice cabinet for baking pans and such, and there really does need to be something between the stove and fridge so that the oven doesn't kill the fridge, but that thing is just too damned wide! I don't like making guests wiggle between the sink and stove to get to the bathroom. There needs to be proper access.

I don't think I'll accomplish much more on this project today. I'm quite sick. Sinusitis and pharyngitis have taken over in the past 24 hours and it's just crazy! I have never lost my voice before. EVER! And I don't understand how a bacterial illness can go as viral as this one has. All I did was work between two women who had it and blamm-o! It's crazy!

So, instead of going to a cookie exchange party as I had planned today, I will be off to the Quick Care for some antibiotics and a vaporizer. Yay.

It's Pay It Forward Day

I am going to make a difference in someone's life today. There is a lot of sadness in the world today. The Birthday of someone's loved one, day two of hospice for a patient I know. It saddens me. And yet I always - ALWAYS - remember how blessed I am to have so many wonderful people in my life who have been willing to help make this journey worth taking.

It is my obligation to do something special for a random person today. To shatter their stress level if only for a portion of their day. Isn't that really why we are here on this earth any way?

Did I Say Painting Could Lead to Dancing?

Oh my! I woke up this morning, thinking about my kitchen and how nice it will look once I get it all put back together. And then Istarted thinking about how awful the floor looks. And how nice the kitchen would look with slate and berry colored tiles.... oh, this is truly endless!

I took a talley this morning and realized that I have already sunk $100 into painting alone. So if I DO redo the floor, I am going to be cost-conscious. No need to sink a bundle into it.

But that sounds like a great deal of backbreaking labor. I think I'll move onto the bathroom first and come back to the kitchen later. Maybe that will be my Christmas Gift to myself - flooring from Menards or Lowes. It does sound like a good January project.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. I am thankful for so many loved ones in my life. I am thankful for my kids and my beautiful grandson Liam. For my family who have been so supportive of me on this journey. For my silly kitten who gets tutored tomorrow who presently is laying on my right hand, making it difficult to type ... but he's purring and looking oh so sweet. You'd never know he spent the night "in Jail" for being so sassy, allowing Miss Oc the luxury of snuggling me all night. Yes, I am blessed!

The Light at the End of The Tunnel

I spent the majority of last night scrubbing away grease and grime, and patching the last wall of my kitchen. Wow. It was bad. But tonight, I decided to see if I could move the refrigerator by myself without having to get the Sliding Robots (a Godsend for anyone who loves to rearrange large furniture - available at Menards.) Well, it actually moved quite easily! That was exactly the second wind I was hoping to find in this project!
(The Last Wall!)

I finished patching behind the fridge, and waited an hour, and put primer on both those walls.
After an hour of watching The Walking Dead, I got out the yellow paint and got a coat of that on the wall as well tonight. Sadly, I'm now out of yellow paint. I'll need to stop at the Hardware store after we get Young Cracker to the Vet on Friday for his Tutoring Lesson.

(The first Wall. Yeah, I still need to organize yet)

I am so glad this project is nearing closure! I can spend the day Friday getting one more coat on this wall, and then I can start organizing and eliminating even more.

I needed this. Considering that a year ago today, we were on the worst part of Jim's Journey. That has been on my mind all day today. But it helps to have something to keep my hands busy and to feel a bit of success instead of feeling like I'm just treading water. Now would be a great time to post The Fanny Pack Song By Swim You Bastard, but alas, youtube has never heard of it. LOSERS!!!