Sunday, April 12, 2009

Zen Habits

Easter was an enjoyable day. We all ate far too much, but it was fun catching up with the in- laws.
But now, it's time to focus on the week ahead.

I didn't get a lot of house cleaning done this weekend. I was more preoccupied with keeping Hubby busy and keeping his mind off of smoking that my normal routine sort of went out the window.
And rightly so. I woke up this morning thinking about how I wanted to make Waldorf salad to bring along to MIL's, but our celery was limp. I said to Hubby "Maybe if I make the Waldorf with everything else, we can pick up celery on our way out of town and I can just add it at your Ma's." Well, the next thing I know, Hubby is saying "I can run to the store and buy celery. Do you need anything else? I can go to the store."

I looked at him and said "You haven't even had a real cup of coffee yet. Why do you want to run to the store?" Uh huh. Just as I suspected. When he came home with the celery, he smelled of freshly smoked cigarette. Dammit! I shoulda stuck with plan A.

It's just annoying me. You see, he's not on this roller coaster by himself. He's dragging the whole family along. And with every slip, the withdrawal lasts longer. It takes 3 days to get the nicotiene out of your system. Every time he sneaks a smoke, he's reloading his system and adding yet another day and night of hell.

When you quit smoking, you have great difficulty sleeping that first week. You have freaky dreams when you do sleep. But your brain wakes you up all night with electrical charges, and in Hubby's case, muscle spasms. Last night I forced him to take a Lorazepam at bed time, telling him that his best defense in standing strong is a good night's sleep. Yeah, he still had trouble, but I do think it helped. But of course, when he tosses and turns, I get awakened as well. Yay.

The scary thing is, he is at work right now. He normally does the majority of his smoking at work.
Will he get through the night?

So in the mean time, I've gotten the kitchen back in order, and I'm now relaxing surfing the net. I love going from blog link to blog link to see what I stumble upon. I've been to Zen Habits before, and although I don't swallow it all hook line and sinker, there is often good food for thought.

One thing they mention is that we need direction and focus. At this point in my life, I don't think I really have any BIG direction or focus happening in my life. Sure, there's helping Hubby quit smoking, making sure that I stay a non-smoker, reaching my goal weight and feeling healthier, raising The Child so that he is not completely warped and will hopefully be a productive member of society. But I don't really have a big plan that I'm aiming toward. I don't have a 5 year plan. I don't have a 10 year plan. Unless you count Not Getting Cancer. But that's more a hopeful wish than a plan.

I did finally get my bike road ready. That makes me happy. Now I need to get my body used to biking for long distances so that I can start riding it to work! That's a previous goal met, and a new goal set.

Getting up earlier is a goal. My work hours will be changing soon. On Tuesdays I will have to be there at 7AM. Which means if I have to get up an hour early for one day a week, I may as well get up early for all days of the week. My goal there is to get my ass out the door 4 out of 5 days a week to walk before my morning shower.

I also want to kill my television set. Is that a goal?

Perhaps I need to spend more time reading Zen Habits to regain my focus. I've been coasting a lot lately. I need a Zen Kick in the pants.

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