Saturday, April 3, 2010

Such a Journey

I lost the love of my life this week to a horrific yet courageous battle with cancer.
It's going to take me ages to get through this grief, even though I know he wouldn't want me to grieve. I know he is in a better place, free of pain, feeling healthy and likely having the most wonderful time with loved ones we have lost before him. But I have so many details to wrestle with now that he is no longer in my life. My priorities are all misaligned right now. And they are SO not meshing with those of my Mother-in-law's. I'm trying to be patient with her as JImmy had asked me to be. WOW.

Regardless, I am sharing the farewell Poem that I wrote the morning of his funeral. I did borrow part of a verse from W.H. Aulden because his poem was the first thing that came to mind when my Love had passed away. I think W.H. Aulden would approve.

We gather today, for our Jimmy has passed

His pain seemed so endless but then again fast

I'm stunned that I stand here to speak of his life

A new-found widow, the departed's wife

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I'll never again know a love so strong.

He humbly wandered through day to day

Not even aware of the ripples he'd made

The hearts that he touched, the lives that he blessed

His family and friends who loved him best

We need to move forward and carry his love

And know that he's watching from above

He would not want us to cry for his passing

Jimmy would much rather hear us laughing

And so it is fitting, the date of this mass

A date of pranks, and fun and laughs

That we honour my love, My Darling Jim

Our lives are much richer for loving him.


Howard said...

Hey, it's gonna be tough but it will get better. It's a crazy family you married into but we do love each other. If you need anything in this time we can do what we can to help. Stay strong Brenda, 'cause he's spending time with his dad and his uncle's. Hell, my dad probably welcomed him into the pearly gates with a germ story. Your cousin,

Howard Kuhr

Aunt Evolity said...

LOL! Howard, did you know that the day he went to the hospital he was laying on the couch and sat up looking across the room saying "Hey! Is that my Uncle Tom? By God IT IS!!!"

And when we went up to the hospital to say our last goodbyes, I pictured him stepping over the threshold in his top hat and regalia and your Pa meeting him saying "Hey, Kid! What the hell are you wearing?" And Jimmy saying "What? This is my outfit! I love it!"

That gave me great comfort. Your dad was awesome! And I know he's taking good care of Jim.