We have reached a milestone today. It has been one year since Hubby left us for the great beyond. And what a year it has been. I have accomplished so much and yet so little.
As Bruce Springsteen puts it, "One Step Up and Two Steps Back".
I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I do know that. I see things much differently now.
I am very blessed to have so many wonderful loved ones willing to help out or even just listen to me as I purge my angst. But ultimately, all decisions rest on my shoulders. That has been the most difficult part. I didn't choose to be a single parent. I didn't choose this path. I LOVED being married. I loved having a partner to help face all of the challenges that life brings. And now, I face it alone.
Someday I may find someone new to walk this road with. But prospects are slim, and I've much work to accomplish before that time. It has only been recently that I have the heart to start weeding through things and truly start purging. I would love to get out of this house and start fresh somewhere. But I cannot do that with so much stuff. I need to lighten the load considerably, both physically and mentally.
I talk to Hubby often. I know he is listening. He does leave me signs now and again to let me know that he is watching over us. That is a great comfort.
I have the day off work today. This was supposed to be a "Me" day. But, alas, I have others to care for instead. What's a gal to do? This is life.
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