It is officially Day 3 of not smoking.
It took me 3 tries this month to get this far.
I had planned to quit October 1. Well, October 1 was filled with stress. No way it was gonna happen that day!
So then I tried again last Tuesday. You see, it had to be on a Tuesday. Mondays are far too out of control at work and at home. An absolute stress-fest. And it couldn't be on a Wednesday because Jim is home Wednesday nights...still smoking. But, Last Tuesday didn't go so well either. But I wouldn't let myself slide on this resolution. I know I have to do it.
One thing I had forgotten about myself as a Non-Smoker - I have no idea what to do with my anger (and believe it or not, I have a LOT of anger inside me). The Smoking Me would just go off and have a smoke and calm myself down. The Non-Smoking me goes from Zero to 60 in 3 seconds and wants to see some actual blood for the most minor of offenses.
But, hey! On the bright side, I've earned myself $15 so far. TOTALLY EARNED that money. The cravings are so gripping it's unbelievable. I actually get muscle tremours! WTF!?!?! I don't remember feeling that the last time I quit. But then again, the last time, I was on Chantix. This time, I'm cold turkey, save for half a Lorazepam at bed time so that I can actually sleep. Mainly because I know it is a major priority to be able to get a real night's sleep while putting my body (and brain) through something like this.
Rewards.... I can head off to the hardware store and buy a gallon of paint for Jerry's room this weekend without the Hubby saying "We can't afford that." We CAN if I decide to use my No Smokie Bucks toward paint. And I do believe I will. After all, the busier I keep myself, the less withdrawl cravings I have to endure. But the best rewards by far... I told Jerry I'm trying to quit smoking and that I need him to help keep a calm environment while I go through this so that I will be successful. And he has been so wonderful and supportive! What a great kid!
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